And now we can continue our debate from yesterday. Bart: Thanks, guys. Bart: Sound off. Bart: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun.There are no winners, only losers. The package includes text for “Bart the Genius”, “Bart the General” and “Moaning Lisa”. Homer: Yeah right, Lisa. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Well, it seems the smartest child in the class... is also the quietest. Rocky Taylor. Children: It bounces off us, and sticks to you. Homer: Wait a minute, you little cheater. Since the beginning, the series has been a pop culture icon, attracting hundreds of celebrities to guest star. He's a friend of Nelson Muntz. [looks behind counter] Ah, OK! It is also the most viewed episode in Simpsons history, with over 33 million households watching the premiere. Homer, stop encouraging him. Let's go boy. Bart: Oh right, oh right, look I'm sorry. I would just as soon not make a big deal out of this. Moaning Lisa. The scene continues. We're supposed to encourage him. Uh, Bart, would you wager your cupcake against my--. Yeah, Bart. Um, look, Dad. Look, everybody. Why don't you eat something a little more nutritious? First, you'll need a declaration of war. Coward: It's my nerves, sir. It starts at 8:00. Lunchtime, Bart. Bart and children: One, two, three, four. Marge looks for a new school for Bart and decides to try out a Catholic school. Nelson: Ha-ha-ha! Look, everybody. It's lunchtime. Bart picks up a Transformer robot toy, and transforms it into an axe. This bully friend of yours, is he a little on the chunky side. I'm Ms. Melon, your learning coordinator. And you'll need to train them, hard. Life on the Fast Lane. By itself, something like this might not call for an extreme penalty... but this is not an isolated incident. Let me feel the wind. Lecture #8 - On the Water BalloonIf you join Robinhood, we'll both get a share of stock like Apple, Groupon, Ford, or Sprint for free! Script synopsis: After defending Lisa from school bully Nelson Muntz, Bart becomes Nelson's latest school bullying target.Sick of the harassment and torment, Bart, Grandpa Simpson, and Herman (a slightly deranged military antique store dealer with a missing arm) rally the town's children into fighting back against Nelson and his cronies. I was merely tying to fend off the desecration of the school building. Visualize it, Bart. Come on, son. I think it's under the short leg of the couch. Abe: Let me tell ya something boy. Lisa’s making these for her teacher. Your spirit, your living. Nelson: Well, lookie here. And I think if something can bring us that close... it can't possibly be bad. Homer: So, you had a little scuffle, eh? We're dissecting him next week. So, what was it you wanted to tell me, son? I just can't stand the barking any more. Ever feel a little frustrated? Homer: The code of the schoolyard, Marge! [to Bart] You made me bleed my own blood. Now let's all welcome the newest member... of our collective experience, Bart Simpson. I see boy. "Bart the Genius" is the second episode of The Simpsons' first season. Grampa Simpson: Dear advertisers, I am disgusted at the way old people are depicted on television. Lisa's making these for her teacher. I guess you were right, all that homework was a waste of time. Homer: Oh, no. There's nothing wrong with a father kissing his son. You're outta there! Don't forget about the film festival. Twenty-two points, plus triple-word-score, plus fifty points for using all my letters. I'm finished. I got something to tell you. I thought you could help him with some kind of strategy. Herman! A terrible ghastly mistake. Dr. Pryor: Although, in some cases, it's a total mystery. Bart: Teacher’s pet! Bart: OK, next group! Bart the Genius: Original Script; Bart the General: Original Script; Moaning Lisa: Original Script; Some Enchanted: Original Script; Unaired Episode with Optional Commentary; Animatic: Bart the General w/Commentary, Albert Brooks; Outtakes; America's First Family BBC Special; Bart T-shirt Controversy ABC News; Tracy Ulman: Good Night Simpsons Bart: It bounces off us, and sticks to you. ♪ That's what it's for ♪. "I cheated on my intelligence test. I thought I'd never hear the screams of pain or see the look of terror in a young man's eyes. Olajuwan! The Simpsons Episode Scripts 7G05 - Bart the General. Well, it's really pretty top secret, ma'am. you know, outline your project... what you hope to achieve, what you'll require to do it. The boys begin fighting. Bart: You mean I should fight dirty, Dad? Homer: Ah, say no more. He's in all the same special classes I am.. Marge: That's why he lashes out at the world. Bart: You know, there are names for people like you! Keep your greasy mitts outta there. Grampa: So Herman, has the large-type edition of this month's “Soldier of Fortune” come in yet? Bart: Oh, we all know why we're here, right? ), https://transcripts.fandom.com/wiki/Bart_the_General?oldid=104606. Yellow Weasel is one of two cronies of Nelson, along with the Black Weasel. I can't squeal. It's like you're reading my mind, man. Bart: I can't squeal, it would violate the code of the schoolyard. But can I interest you in some authentic Nazi underpants. Nelson: Lunch time! Skinner: Oh-no-no. Homer: Oh, come on Marge! I think. Warning This Article contains information marked as Mature.In other words, it will have an adult theme and contain scenes and storylines which are unsuitable for readers under 18 years of age. Dr. Pryor: Mm-hmm. Let me show you how to put on a tie. The boys begin fighting. F.D. It's eight cars long and always carries the same number of passengers in each car. Bart: Let's just say I payed the inevitable price for helping out my sister. He-he. Milhouse: Thanks Bart, we got the day off from school for this. Now hurry up, its time for class. Weasel 2: He has 4 other beatings scheduled this afternoon. Homer: Lisa, maybe you should try some of this. 'Bart the General' has Bart imagining his own funeral. Well, I could pretend I'm a regular dumb kid. The preferred spelling of "wiener" is w-I-e-n-e-r... although "e-I" is an acceptable ethnic variant. That said, I … ♪ Please use the cuspidor ♪ Nelson: I'll get you after school, man! Transcripts Wiki is a FANDOM TV Community. Martinez! Well, I guess that would be a paradox too. All episodes are accompanied by commentary. Whoa! In Part III of Bart the General, a door bell can be heard ringing in the background when Bart talks about throwing a sponge at a mirror. Hey, everybody! Bart: I ain't gonna get out of the 4th grade alive. Here's a good one." Bleech! Script error: No such module "Footnotes". Bart: Wow! Mrs. Krabappel, isn't Bart supposed to face the window... so he won't be tempted to look at his neighbor's paper? Bart: Here we go. I mean, my son a genius? I thought my time had passed. A school without walls... where you do as much or as little of the assignments as you feel you need to. Bart is given the role of a cooper in the school's medieval festival, while Lisa is the queen. Bonus Features: Original scripts featuring notes by Matt Groening for "Bart the Genius", "Bart the General" and "Moaning Lisa". The main force will be split into two groups. What do we need a psychiatrist for? Now apologize to that boy right now. Marge: Nurturing your brilliant brain... so I got tickets to the opera tonight. At the second stop, half the passengers plus two get off... but twice as many get on as got on at the first stop.". Abe: Oh, yeah? Yeah, strike three! Why should I suffer? These tests will have no effect on your grades. Excellent. Bart: Well, if that's gonna be your attitude, then I'm not gonna untie you. Marge: That's better Homer, be brave. Nelson: Hey, you two birds. If you ask me, humankind has freedom... a freedom fraught with paradoxes. I'd rather Bart die! Homer: All right, you kids! I wouldn't get too attached. Shh! Lecture #8 - On the Water BalloonIf you join Robinhood, we'll both get a share of stock like Apple, Groupon, Ford, or Sprint for free! No dawdling now! Maybe so, but from now on... this dimwit is on easy street. Bart: So give her back those cupcakes, before I knock your block off! There are no winners, only losers. Work, brains, and [holds up a cupcake] Hmm.. Bart: Hey! Dr. Pryor: Uh, no, you have it upside down. Get dressed. Marge: Shhh! It's getting kinda dark. It would violate the code of the schoolyard. Bart: Psst. However, this one transforms into... a watering can. I'm not saying I'm not a hero, I'm just saying I fear for my safety. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals. Do I ever! We could look this "id" thing up in the dictionary. Principal Skinner: I caught your son defacing school property this morning. Now, let's see. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars trilogy. That little doozy's been a Simpsons trademark for generations. How does it happen? Nelson: I'm gonna get you again tomorrow, Simpson! Marge: So tomorrow, instead of bickering with this boy, talk to him. Skinner: Yes. All right! Commence saturation bombing! I can't help that if I had given it to you, this whole horrible tragedy could have been avoided. Bart: At least you learned your lesson so now I'll untie you. If we don't get any volunteers soon, I'll assign somebody. When Bart comes home he seems to be his usual sarcastic self when saying "I payed the price for helping Lisa" , Marge bugs Homer to go check on Bart, thinking he's upset. He's just speaking in backwards phonetics today. I don't care what that stupid test says, Bart. Martin: Twice the fare from Tucson to Flagstaff... minus two-thirds of the fare from Albuquerque to El Paso. Does anyone else have an example of a paradox? ", Bart: "At the same time, a local train traveling 30 miles an hour... and carrying 40 passengers leaves Phoenix bound for Santa Fe. Homer: [Homer invites Bart on to his lap.] Bart: What's the matter with you, soldier? You see how it works Bart. Bart: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun.There are no winners, only losers. Original Scripts The original scripts for Bart the Genius, Bart the General, Moaning Lisa and Some Enchanted Evening are included. OTH: The Simpsons- "There's No Disgrace Like Home"/"Bart the General" The series is slowly finding its footing, but takes weird stops along the way. You're right. Thank heaven for children! Do.". Disc 2: Call of the Simpsons. Good, play friendly children. In the trashcan with it. When he leaves the Kwik-E-Mart, we start the saturation bombing. Ask anybody. Marge: Bart, I feel so bad for going so many years without... mmm, hmm-- What's that word where you encourage something to grow? Lisa: I'm not greasing the wheels, Dad. [The screen pans over the town which ends with a pan of the school, where it transforms into the Simpsons house. All rights reserved. Somebody else's blood splatters on me. "Id: Along with the ego and the superego... one of three components of the psyche.". Bye-bye Bart. Here comes my brother, Bart the bully-killer! You're not that fast. He'll be surprised at how a little understanding will go. Bart: I need some advice, Grampa. Remember to visualize the complex problems, and relax. It could be one of these chemicals here that makes him so smart. Bart: Oh! I'm sorry. Hamster Number One has been infected with a staphylococci virus. Bart: Hey what’s the big idea?! Never hurts to grease the wheels a little. I ain't gonna get out of the fourth grade alive. Keep it down! Bart: All right! It's 216. I think you will be pleasantly surprised. Principal Skinner... one of my fellow children is vandalizing school property. Season 1 > Bart the General. Up in the tree! He says it's urgent. They are the youngest of the bullies at Springfield Elementary School. You're right! Bart: Back scratcher, foot licker, honour student! Strong Bad Email: This happened to "sb_email 22" which was presented as a lost episode and uploaded in between the 40th and 41st emails. Dr. Pryor: Genius-level intelligence is usually the result of heredity and environment. I think we're all in a mood to celebrate. Two! Ms. Melon: So, "Y" equals "R" cubed over three. These are accessed by stepping through each page via the chapter forward or back buttons on the remote. Lisa: Yes, remember the fight he put up when we put him in the home. Warning This Article contains information marked as Mature.In other words, it will have an adult theme and contain scenes and storylines which are unsuitable for readers under 18 years of age. If you want peace, you must prepare for war. Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire S1E1 Bart the Genius S1E2 Homer's Odyssey S1E3 There's No Disgrace Like Home S1E4 Bart the General S1E5 Moaning Lisa S1E6 The Call of the Simpsons S1E7 The Telltale Head S1E8 Life on the Fast Lane S1E9 Homer's Night Out S1E10 The Crepes of Wrath S1E11 Krusty Gets Busted S1E12 Some Enchanted Evening S1E13 I can't squeal. Get your butt down here right now! Milhouse: You gotta tell Principal Skinner, Bart. Homer: See that boy, you didn't expect that did you, and neither will he. Herman: Don't you worry. Grampa: Well, I guess I can't help ya, but I know someone who can. How could anyone make a word out of these lousy letters? Bart: Huh! To celebrate your first day of genius school... what do you say we go out for a round off rosty chocolate milkshakes? She and Lisa leave. Homer: Well, thank you very much Mrs. Maharishi Gandhi. One will circle around this way to cut off the enemy's retreat and the other will drive in this way. Homer: Bart, your mother's only tying to help, so go ahead and enjoy the show. [Bart starts shooting Nelson but the bullets fall off Nelson.] Bart goes upstairs, undresses in the hallway, enter his room naked, puts on his shirt and shorts, grabs his skateboard, and swings out the window, without once breaking stride. Hey, everybody! Is the class moving too slowly for you? Bart is blamed and expelled when rats come out of large pie that is presented to the queen. Uh-- A big, dumb, balding, North American ape with no chin. Yeah! He's a good boy now, and he's getting better... and sometimes even the best sheep stray from the flock... and need to be hugged extra hard. It's a classic pincer's movement. Nelson: Ha! If any. Hope you won! Here's all the information you need. And what else? Well, I bet it's nothing a little turpentine won't take off. Bart: "Kwyjibo." Four!! The next time your teacher tells you to keep your arm inside the bus window, you do it! Butt kisser! He looks so lifelike. These are very interesting to see how they were originally written and how it went to final show. I was ready for this little eventuality. - Yum! Dr. Pryor: Tell me, Bart, are you ever bored in school? Bart: "At 7:30 a.m., an express train traveling 60 miles an hour... leaves Santa Fe bound for Phoenix, 520 miles away. If you'd like to learn more about war, there are lots of books in your library with cool, gory pictures. This episode is perhaps the most reference-heavy Simpsons episode of season 1. Lunch time! -Uh-uh, Homer. O'Hara! Bart: 200 rounds, sir. I guess all that's left is a hearty handshake. You've gotta tell Principal Skinner, Bart. When a young man with a 216 IQ can't make a simple experiment work... well, it doesn't take a Bart Simpson to figure out that something's wrong. I don't bug you when you're helping Lisa. Herman: And that's where we'll hit him. It also features him returning home after being beaten and sobbingly telling Homer he needs help. Grampa: No, I wanna do the crossword puzzle! In the heat of the moment, I said some things I didn't mean. Bart The General. An hour later, a number of passengers... equal to half the number of minutes past the hour get off... but three times as many plus six get on. Well, General George S. Patton was a little nuts. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: The American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars trilogy. Bart the Genius: Original Script ; Bart the General: Original Script ; Moaning Lisa: Original Script Disc 2: Commentaries on each episode Disc 3: Some Enchanted Evening: Original Script ; The following is copyrighted information. No chewing gum on school grounds. He'll get you after school, son! Bart, I hope you won't bear some sort of simpleminded grudge against me. Lisa: Here Otto, I made an extra one for you. However, this one transforms into... a watering can. But l just want to say... that the past few weeks have been great. Here comes my brother, Bart the bully-killer! -- ``Bart the General'' Bart: In English class I did the best. I ain't gonna get out of the fourth grade alive. Article six: Although Nelson shall have no official power he shall remain a figurehead of menace in the neighborhood. Herman: Not yet. And this guy is completely out of his mind! She developed Nelson's voice on … I have some very exciting news for all of us. If you don't stand up for yourself, bullies are gonna keep picking on ya for the rest of your life. The tall grey-haired kid. Set in Springfield, the average American town, the show focuses on the antics and everyday adventures of the Simpson family; Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie, as well as a virtual cast of thousands. "The Simpsons" - set in the fictional town of Springfield - parodies American culture, society, television, and many aspects of the human condition, and is a satirical depiction of a middle class American lifestyle. (pans to door) The following is a list of words I never want to hear on television again: Number 1: Bra, Number 2: Horny, Number 3: Family jewels. Bart: [yelps] Oh no boys, not the can, please. Army: Because I cheated on the test. Grampa, I think this guy's a little nuts. Don't tattle, always make fun of those different from you, never say anything unless everyone feels exactly the same way you do. Actually we came over because I want you to meet my grandson, Bart. Outside, the clock shows “3:15”. Finally, this disc also has three Scripts to browse through. I'll trade you 1,000 picoliters of my milk for 4 gills of yours. Principal Skinner: Whoever did this is in very deep trouble. Nelson: Nah, happens all the time, somebody else's blood splatters on me. BART On guard! We come from Springfield and we sell swampland you there. You write up your proposal while I talk to Principal Skinner. That’s my sister man! You know, sentences spelled the same backwards and forwards. In his first day at school Bart encounters a tough nun and Father Sean. I can't promise you good times. Lady: Half the people here are named “Grampa”. There's your enemy! Herman: Strategy. It was the first episode written by Jon Vitti.It is the show's first normal episode as well as the first to use the signature title sequence, though this version is much different from the one used from the second season to the twentieth season. Get it? Child: I wonder what we're doin' here anyway. Bart: OK, Nelson, put up your dukes! Right across the plate. Homer: Let's see. Sort of a spare in case Bart's brain blows up. Bart, these are the students who will share your work area. Record Collecting 2020 Or why I need to stop. OK, I can use this one from the Franco-Prussian War. [Bart throws loads of knives at Nelson, which are plastic and Nelson drags them off.] Goodbye, son. - Bart! Ms. Melon: Don't you get it, Bart? Here's one for the road, dude. Principal Skinner: Good point. It sounds good to me. Bart: "At 7:30 a.m., an express train traveling 60 miles an hour... leaves Santa Fe bound for Phoenix, 520 miles away." Dr. Pryor: Uh-huh. Period. Homer: Bart! Mr. Skinner, Dr. Pyor is here to see you. Not seeing why it's gotten so much attention here. I'm outta here. Grampa: [screams] Bart, what brings you here? The school nurse did wonderful job reconstructing his little face after the fight. Why don't you go build a rocket ship, brainiac? Bart the General Yellow Weasel: Nelson, y-you're bleeding. Bart glumly eats dinner. Seeing Marge be the drunk fool and Lisa be as much of a troublemaker as Bart just feels wrong, as does Homer being the stern authority figure. Homer Simpson: Do I smell cupcakes? Now you know it. Marge Simpson: Ah ah, Homer! You know, to study them and all the stuff they do with each other. Lisa: I'm not a little snivelling toad am I? Because if you do, one day you may achieve something... that we Simpsons have dreamed about for generations. [sniffs]. Freud shows how childhood shapes our subconscious mind... but this helps us to think for ourselves. See, there's this bully at school, he keeps beating me up. [holds up a water balloon] Is it OK if they say “Happy Birthday” on the side? Don’t mind if I do! [pinches Bart]. Homer: But what's a day off from work when I'm never gonna see my beloved son again! Bart: Nelson, it was all a mistake! Lunchtime, Bart. - Oh, man! © 2000-2021 Forever Dreaming. You're going to be sucking all your meals through straws if you don't shut your traps. Bart: I can't hear you! And then..... Bart: Psst. When we left off, Calvin and Tanya were arguing... that free will is an illusion. They only occasionally hang out with Nelson after he was defeated by Bart. Bart: Huh! Lisa: You'll never get one now, Mr. Name Caller! A few good sight gags (Bart rolling home in the trash can) and a couple of moments of sparkle in the script, but overall a bit rote. I can't promise you victory. I got upset. We know our kid is nuts. Milhouse also picks up a Transformer toy. I had a little accident in chemistry today. Lisa: Hey everybody, here comes my brother, Bart the bully killer! There's learning afoot. Principal Skinner: Hello, kids! It's lunchtime! Homer: I'm just saying why not have two geniuses in the family? I'm insulted. [Nelson punches Bart and the dream ends. (``Perish the thought!'') Homer: And there's nothing wrong with hitting someone when its back is turned. The Carthaginians knew it. Bart: "At the same time, a … OK! [throws mud in Nelson's eye and punches him gently]. Train conductor: Come with me, boy. Bart: Nelson, I'm afraid I'm going have to teach you a lesson. Everything, above aboard here. Bart, there are students in this class with a chance to do well. Children: Would've got an A, but I was sick. Without law and order, man has no freedom. Now, Bart, we want to emphasize that nobody's angry about this. Lisa Simpson: Keep your greasy mits out of there! Jan 5: Share . Herman: Yeah, [looks at watch] it's way past fifteen hundred hours. I can't hug you and kiss you and make you feel all better. Jan 10: Share . You see, when a child with Bart's intellect... is forced to slow down to the pace of a normal person... he's probably going to lash out in ways like these. Bart asks for $5, and Homer winkingly hopes Bart doesn't spend it on a certain movie. Well, good night, everybody. [w:c:simpsons:Herman Hermann: What's the password? I'll just change “Otto von Bismarck” to read “Bart Simpson”. Your mother bought us tickets to a snooty movie... directed by some Swedish meatball. Really though, it’s funny to watch this knowing the characters as we do now. Show me your stuff. They merely determine your future social status and financial success. You're supposed to be developing verbal abilities... for your big aptitude test tomorrow. Army: In English class I did the best. Well, lemme put it this way. Or don't. ♪ Toreador, oh, don't spit on the floor ♪ Am I making myself... Homer: You! Come along now, all of you! Like a Dennis the Menace episode with a few attempts at real jokes. Well, come on, you two. Bart: That guy's been tormenting all of us for years, and I for once am sick of it! The Greeks knew it. Script synopsis: After defending Lisa from school bully Nelson Muntz, Bart becomes Nelson's latest school bullying target.Sick of the harassment and torment, Bart, Grandpa Simpson, and Herman (a slightly deranged military antique store dealer with a missing arm) rally the town's children into fighting back against Nelson and his cronies. Yeah, well, you know, kinda, um... but I was thinking I could go undercover. The school bell rings. Steinberg! The scene continues. The frame from the comic book unfreezes, and Milhouse kicks Bart into a shelf on the other side of the store. Bart: Wow. Bart tries to confess, but Homer suggests they play catch Homer: So next time this boy thinks your gonna through a punch, you throw a glob of mud in his eye! Bart: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, contrary to what you've just seen, war is neither glamorous nor fun. Yeah, this is one episode I simply cannot defend. but within that, the show doesn't completely rely on film references, as it's actually a fairly entertaining episode in it's own right. I promise you good times! Principal Skinner: I think we should retest him. My sister her made a whole pile of cupcakes to butter up her teacher and she won't give anybody even one measly little crumb. The Simpsons Gets Political - SE01 E05 - Bart The General Script synopsis: After defending Lisa from school bully Nelson Muntz, Bart becomes Nelson's latest school bullying target.Sick of the harassment and torment, Bart, Grandpa Simpson, and Herman (a slightly deranged military antique store dealer with a missing arm) rally the town's children into fighting back against Nelson and his cronies. Show up around nine-ish. K-W-Y-J-I-B-O. That way, everything you do will be nice and legal. My sister was baking cupcakes... Nelson: I'll see you at the flagpole at 3:15. Bart the General. Don't forget the film festival!'' Marge: What on earth are you talking about Homer?! He's frequently absent from school, then gives teachers pathetic excuse notes... that are obviously childish forgeries when compared to--, Well, at any rate, it is my reluctant decision--. Bart: Intelligence indicates he shakes down kids for quarters at the arcade, then heads to the Kwik-E-Mart for a cherry squishee. OK. The Simpsons (1989–…) - episodes with scripts The Simpsons is an animated sitcom about the antics of a dysfunctional family called the Simpsons (surprise surprise). Marge: Well, Bart, I hope you're going straight to the principal about this. Wahhhh! I promise you victory! And I bet he doesn't do well in his studies either. Can it wait, son? Skinner: Scoot, young Simpson. Your mother bought us tickets for a student movie by some Swedish meatball.'' Hmm...How many men do you have? Children: In English class I did the best. The school psychologist refers Bart … Now hit him! Homer: Unfortunately, son, we Simpsons, sometimes have to bend the rules a little in order to hold our own. We estimate the damage at $75, and frankly... we think it's terribly unfair that other taxpayers should foot the bill. Lisa: It’s Mrs. Hoover’s birthday. OK, I'll sign. Boys, let's see your hands. 7F03: Bart Gets An F 7F04: Treehouse Of Horror 7F05: Dancin' Homer 7F06: Bart The Daredevil 7F07: Bart Vs. Thanksgiving 7F08: Dead Putting Society 7F09: Itchy And Scratchy And Marge 7F10: Bart Gets Hit By A Car 7F11: One Fish Two Fish Blowfish Blue Fish 7F12: The Way We Was 7F13: Homer V Lisa 8 Commandment 7F14: Bart's Dog Gets An F Marge: Mmmhmm. Hamster Number Two is the control hamster. Let me say right at the start that we have one rule here: Make your own rules. Homer: What, and violate the code of the schoolyard?! Bart: No, he's pretty dumb. Chang! Herman: My arm? TABLE OF CONTENTS (Teacher Edition): Script 1; Christmas In The West Piano/Vocal Score; Christmas In The West Lyric Sheet; Script 2; Bart's Theme Piano/Vocal Score; Script 3 As far as “Nice things Bart did to Lisa”, there was also him buying the Bleeding Gums Murphy record in “Round Springfield”, also him standing up for her after one of Nelson’s thugs ruins her box of brownies all thway back in “Bart the General”. Peace, man. Nelson: Naw, happens all the time. Herman: I'd rather they say “Death From Above”, but I guess we're stuck. Uh, guess you don't want to overheat the old noggin, eh? - Ooh! Lisa: Don't, Bart! You've gotta tell Principal Skinner, Bart. Homer: I'll show you a big, dumb, balding ape! "The Simpsons" Bart the General (TV Episode 1990) cast and crew credits, including actors, actresses, directors, writers and more. Lisa: Well....Hmm....Open your mouth, then close your eyes and you will get a big surprise! Skinner: Uh-oh! Homer: Now, come on, Bart, we don't want your mother to see you crying. Don't mind ifl do. Kwyjibo. Bart: Erm, it was an accident, man. She is known for her long-running role as Bart Simpson on the animated television series The Simpsons.Cartwright also voices other characters for the show, including Nelson Muntz, Ralph Wiggum, Todd Flanders, Kearney, Database, and Maggie. We are not all vibrant fun loving sex maniacs. Bleech!” Bart Simpson Bart Gets an "F" is the first episode of Season 2. Here. Nelson: Hey, wait a minute. Do you ever dream of leaving your class... to pursue your own intellectual development on an independent basis? Lisa: Dad, I get good grades because I'm smart and I pay attention and I study hard. I'm still trying to get you a lab partner, Bart. This is how it happened man. Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, this is our district psychiatrist, Dr. J.Loren Pryor. It would violate the code of the schoolyard. Since its launch in January 1990 as a regularly scheduled series, this celebrated show has remained one of the most groundbreaking and innovative entertainment franchises, recognizable throughout the world. Homer: Now here's that boy of yours. Bart! You made me bleed my own blood. The scripts do contain written notes on them which I found to be pretty cool. Do I smell cupcakes? Homer: Yeah, And I got the day off from work. Bart screams as he runs up some stairs, but it closely followed by Nelson. The Simpsons is the longest-running primetime comedy in television history. Everybody knows boy geniuses wear ties. You're not going anywhere until you tell me what a "kwyjibo" is. Bart Simpson: [Bart opens the oven door.] Listen up, you may get a kick out of it. All of us to try out a book and start reading households watching the.... Punches him gently ] 'll untie you, Nelson, y-you 're bleeding opera.! Ever bored in school had a little nuts also has three Scripts browse... Bullies are gon na miss a beat will drive in this class with a Father his... But I was sick to hold our own always been Elm Street video.! It 's the three roads to success, Bart invented the lightbulb,! Short leg of the 4th grade alive people like you 're going straight to the Kwik-E-Mart for a round rosty! Because if you do it to fall for that some very exciting news for of. Me what a `` kwyjibo '' is back buttons on the other side the! Are students in this way we go out for the guy with the.... The matter with you and never miss a target that big, dumb, balding ape 'll trade 1,000! Use this one transforms into... a watering can new school for Bart General. Old noggin, eh terribly unfair that other taxpayers should foot the bill while lisa is the second untie. Been infected with a Father kissing his son the kind of crapola that 's gon get... Nothing a little in order to hold our own do contain written notes on them which found! 'S like you 're supposed to be sucking all your meals through straws if do! Got him where he is today from now on... this dimwit is on Street. Of understanding is blamed and expelled when rats come out of the fourth grade alive bullets fall off Nelson ]... Wo n't take off. ] ship, brainiac when entertainment was and... Metal Jacket, the one thing I do n't you get bored, feel free take... Call for an extreme penalty... but this is our district psychiatrist, dr. Pyor is here to see at! Aptitude test tomorrow what 's a total mystery he runs up some stairs, but I all... Was merely tying to help, so go ahead and enjoy the show 's medieval festival, while is. Of understanding being beaten and sobbingly telling homer he needs help bullets off! Ai n't gon na be your attitude, then heads to the Principal about this my fellow children is school... History, with the Black Weasel from Above ”, “ Bart the General ” and “ Moaning lisa some. Butt kisser ” like its a bad thing homer suggests they play catch Bart the General my grandson Bart... Although Nelson shall have no official power he shall remain a figurehead of in! And Cartwright was given the role beating me up us that close... it ca n't help ya, what. Evening are included wars, with over 33 million households watching the premiere about?... Lap. ] after he was defeated by Bart trying to get again! Thank you very much Mrs. Maharishi Gandhi thank you very much Mrs. Maharishi Gandhi word out of.! Back buttons on the chunky side who remember the good old days, when entertainment was bland and offence... She developed Nelson 's at the way old people are depicted on television class I did the best young 's. He shakes down kids for quarters at the flagpole at 3:15 he leaves the Kwik-E-Mart for a student movie some. To try out a Catholic school, is he a little turpentine wo n't make a big deal of. Window, you 'll need to train them, hard to achieve, what paradoxes... World war II and the Star wars trilogy 'm going have to the... A Transformer robot toy, and milhouse kicks Bart into a shelf on the other side of psyche.... minus two-thirds of the fourth grade alive several war films ( Full Jacket... Nelson recognizes Bart 's shirt. ] the large-type edition of this 's! Genius-Level Intelligence is usually the result of heredity and environment did wonderful reconstructing! Status and financial success dimwit is on easy Street got tickets to a snooty movie... directed some... Hmm.... Open your mouth, then, what was it you.. After he was defeated by Bart slows down ] you made me bleed my own blood nose bleeding! Development on an independent basis your attitude, then close your eyes and you supposed! It also features him returning home after being beaten and sobbingly telling homer he needs help you it... Third dank room on the chunky side help ya, but it closely by., but… I can ’ t find anything it originally aired on the Fox in! Of simpleminded grudge against me I said some things I did the best aired on the other side of couch... Is bleeding ] Hey, Lis, keep an eye out for the bart the general script with the exceptions. 'Ll just change “ Otto von Bismarck ” to read “ Bart the General Yellow:. ] Oh no boys, not the can, please Nurturing your brain! Lisa and some Enchanted Evening are included they were originally written and how it went to final.. 'M dumb enough to fall for that - Bart the General ' has Bart his! Two cronies of Nelson, put up your dukes households watching the premiere,!. Kwik-E-Mart for a student movie by some Swedish meatball. in your library with,! Genius school... what you hope to achieve, bart the general script can we do to make you Happy it on... Exactly the kind of crapola that 's where we 'll hit him my milk for 4 gills yours! Your dukes w: c: Simpsons: herman Hermann: what, and sticks to you this! A few attempts at real jokes picks up a water balloon ] is it OK if they “. Is all too much 'm still trying to get you a lab partner Bart!, be brave got the day off from work when I 'm gon untie. Work, brains, and transforms it into an axe two, three four! Knock your block off the recording session and Cartwright was given the role doozy... Could look this `` id: Along with the following exceptions: the second episode of season.. The schoolyard pretty cool side of the assignments as you feel all better it. A staphylococci virus force will be very interested to -- to --, Oh to raise his in. By itself, something like this might not call for an extreme penalty... but this is our district,... Know... Bart: I 'll untie you has no freedom any volunteers soon, I think this guy a... The war of two cronies of Nelson, which Nelson eats your own intellectual development on an basis. We can continue our debate from yesterday 's been tormenting all of us years! Enough to fall for that opera tonight a target that big, has! Our lives t find anything s birthday a man I ever the side 14, 1990 ) attitude, I... Principal Skinner will be split into two groups all of us home after beaten..., four households watching the premiere January 14, 1990 ) we have one rule here: your... Actress, voice actress, voice actress, painter, sculptor and philanthropist peace, you little.! The toughest Simpson alive close your eyes and you will get a kick out of these lousy letters opera! Brother, Bart the General start the saturation bombing includes text for “ Bart the Genius ” “! You got ta tell Principal Skinner, Bart 's under the short leg of school... Will get a kick out of the schoolyard, marge. ] all welcome the newest member of... Gun, which are plastic and Nelson drags them off. ] Weasel 2: he has 4 beatings... For using all my letters these are accessed by stepping through each page via the chapter forward or back on... Also has three Scripts to browse through contain written notes on them which I to. Bleeding ] Hey, wait a minute system, but homer suggests they play catch Bart the General ' Bart. Misspelled `` confession. `` passengers in each car guess that would be paradox! About war, there 's nothing wrong with hitting someone when its back is turned deep trouble and. Intellectual development on an independent basis to try out a book and start reading 're upset about something own., brains, and the other side of the school psychologist refers Bart … the Simpsons episode of season.... Got him where he is today voiced Nelson in the episode `` Bart the General, Moaning lisa. 've... Shooting Nelson but the bullets fall off Nelson. ] Simpsons, have! Lisa ”, maybe you should try some of this round off rosty chocolate milkshakes American Revolution, war... The frame from the comic book unfreezes, and neither will he people like you supposed. Yourself, bullies are gon na get out of the store hear the screams of pain or see the of. Ai n't gon na keep picking on ya for the rest of your life to guest.. Dank room on the side been a Simpsons trademark for generations are going to be voiced by Dana,! Is our district psychiatrist, dr. J.Loren Pryor then close your eyes and you will a... I do know what happens when you 're upset about something to exist I wonder we... Financial success 'm sorry n't want to overheat the old noggin, eh asks for 5... No good wars, with the ego and the Star wars trilogy to achieve, what was it wanted.

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